Saturday, May 30, 2009

WHO I IS AND WHERE I BE (HE IS I AND I AM HIM)

I FEEL GOOD, IN FACT I FEEL GREAT..BETTER THEN I HAVE IN YEARS. GROUNDED, AND FEARLESS. IM FALLING IN LIKE WITH MYSELF, MAYBE IT WILL TURN INTO LOVE,LOL. IM DOING THINGS FOR MYSELF AND NOT FEELING GUILTY FOR IT. IM NOT OBSESSING ABOUT THINGS THAT REALLY ARENT MY PROBLEM..USING THEM AS DISTRACTIONS WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. FIRE ISLAND PINES IS MAGICAL. IM PUSHING 40 AND FEEL AGELESS..I FEEL YOUNGER THEN I HAVE IN 25 YEARS. I SEEM TO HAVE WON THE BATTLE AGAINIST MYSELF AND WON "ME" BACK. BABY STEPS, WITH BIG LEAPS IN BETWEEN. VERY CONNECTED TO MY FEELINGS. WORKING FROM A PLACE OF SOUL..ALWAYS HAVE, BUT NOW FEEL AMAZING ABOUT IT. HAVE MADE SOME GREAT NEW FRIENDS, AND CEMENTED OLD ONES. PROUD OF MY FAMILY ( GO SAM!) ..PROUD OF MY PEOPLES.

I USED TO WORRY, SO MUCH. AND I WORRIED ABOUT THE WRONG THINGS. WHAT PEOPLE WHISPERED..HOW THEY VIEWED ME..AND IT SHAPED ME..PUT ME INTO A BOX,UNCOMFORTABLY. I CANT BE CATEGORIZED OR MARGINALIZED BY ANYONE OR ANYTHING . INSTEAD IM EMBRACING THE LOVE, THE CHEERING ME ON, THE PROPS I GET (AND NOW GIVE MYSELF) FOR BEING WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ..FLAWED BUT PERFECT. AND I CAN LIVE WITH THAT.

IM SURE ILL TAKE TWO STEPS FOWARDS, A COUPLE OF STEPS BACK..HERE AND THERE..BUT I WONT LET IT KEEP ME OUT OF THE LIGHT. IM FULLY CONNECTED THERE. I FEEL THE LIGHT KISSING AND NUDGING ME CLOSER TO IT..MORE THEN EVER.

I WISH THAT FOR ANYONE WHO LOVES OR HATES ME. BUT CERTAINLY MORE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE.

PEACE AND BLESSINGS

J

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Jason! we should all do things for ourselves without feeling guilty about it, I'll memorize that!, totally loved it.
I'll try to feel that way too! take care! lots and lots of love

Andrea loves Jason's blog!
hey and by the way blog more often honey!

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