SATURDAY 7 50 PM

OK
IVE BEEN COUPED UP ALL DAY DUE TO THIS INSANE WEATHER WE ARE HAVING IN NYC
SOOOOO BECAUSE OF THIS........
I WANT TO GO OUT AND GO NUTS
DRINK, BE MERRY, SNOG A STRANGER( OR 2)
BUT I HAVE YOGA IN THE AM, AND IF I GO OUT AND CARRY ON( WHICH WOULD DEFINITELY HAPPEN..I WOULD FEEL TOTAL GUILT FOR CANCELLING MY YOGA INSTRUCTOR AT THE LAST MINUTE, AND THEN GUILTY FOR WASTING THE $135 SHE CHARGES PER SESSION ( WHICH I PAY IN BULK AND IN ADVANCE)
ELLEN, MY YOGA GURU, HAS BEEN ON HOLIDAY FOR 2 WEEKS. SHE ASKED ME TO WORK OUT WHILE SHE WAS GONE. SURE. THATS WHAT HAPPENED. I WENT TO THE GYM ONCE IN 14 DAYS AND I RAN FOR 30 MINUTES. U DO THE MATH.
I HAVE PRETTY MUCH STOPPED DRINKING DIET COKE, BUT HAVE HAD A FEW CANS HERE AND THERE. AS OPPOSED TO THE 6 ID HAVE A DAY..SO PROGRESS( THANKS RO)
TOMORROW I AM TO DO YOGA, THEN GYM TIME(LOL) THEN BRUNCH WITH THE USUALS ( BEN/BRAD...ET AL) WE ARE LIKE SEX AND THE CITY..OUR SACRED MARITIME BAR BRUNCH BUT WE WOUDLDCALL IT.."HUNG OVER IN THE WEST VILLAGE" ID SO BE MIRANDA..CAREER OBSESSED CHUBBY LESBIAN WHO MUST CONTROL EVERYTHING. ANYHOO......
I ORDERED A HUGE HERO SANDWICH, AND SOME CHIPS..IM FEELING IT SO FUCK IT
IF I M NOT FEEDING ONE VICE( BOOZE.LOL) ILL FEED ANOTHER ONE( FOOD) OR I CAN SHOP FOR A BUNCH OF NEW BLACK TEE SHIRTS..OH NO! WHAT TO DO
THIS MAY BE MY MOST BLATANT HONEST RANT TO DATE..LOL
I AM LAYING TUMMY DOWN ON MY BED WITH REALLY NOTHING TO DO
SO RATHER THEN WALK THE 30 STEPS TO THE GYM IN MY BUILDING I WILL CHOW DOWN WATCH TIVOED CHELSEA LATELY AND FEEL GUILTY AFTER WARDS. ITS LIKE HAVING HOT ADULTEROUS SEX , CLIMAXING, AND THEN FEELING LIKE SHIT. ITS A CYCLE.
AS MUCH AS I HAVE MY SHIT TOGETHER, I HAVE MY FLAWS( REALLY????,LOL).
I THINK THIS IS A STRUGGLE ALOT OF PEOPLE HAVE. ITS HUMAN WEAKNESS
I AM MY OWN WORST CRITIC
I HAVE A MAN WHO LOVES ME
BUT IN THE CLOSET ( ISH)
I HAVE A FABULOUS CAREER THAT I AM PROUD OF( BUT TAKES UP ALL MY TIME)
I HAVE 2 AMAZING SISTERS AND THREE ANGELS IN MY NEPHEWS
I HAVE 4 OF THE BEST FRIENDS YOU COULD EVER ASK FOR
BUT YET I AM ALONE
IN MY CHIC APARTMENT
WAITING ON A SANDWICH AND CHIPS
FEEDING THE WEAKNESS

IT IS WHAT IT IS
BUT MY EYES ARE OPEN

XO
J