THE REAL DEAL..IT IS WHAT IT IS

I HAVE DECIDED ON THE EVE OF GAY PRIDE SUNDAY TO LEAVE NY, PACK MY APARTMENT UP AND MOVE TO ICELAND. ANYONE THAT KNOWS ME, KNOWS I LOVE BJORK. AND WHILE DRINKING MIKE'S HARD LEMONADE AND VOGUING TO "BIG TIME SENSUALITY"..I REALIZED CLEARLY..BJORK NEEDS ME( AND I NEED SIBERIAN HUSKYS) AND BLUBBER.
I BEQUETH MY HAREM OF MALE "MODELS" TO THE DEREK ZOOLANDER FOUNDATION FOR RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE RUN BY BLAINE COOK( A TRUE RENAISSANCE MAN)..TERRON WOOD, I LEAVE YOU MY BEST OF MADONNA CD COLLECTION AND TOUR PROGRAMS FROM 1988 TO 2006. TO THE SPRITELY JUSTIN TUNISTRA I LEAVE YOU MY UNPUBLISHED MEMOIR"IT IS WHAT IT IS..BITCHES" AND YOU CAN PLAY ME IN THE MADE FOR TV MOVIE
JOE LALLY HAS ASKED ME TO TAKE A MOMENT AND THANK BUDDAH, CHARLES DEVOE, TRAVIS HANSON AKA GHOSTA FACE KILLAH 2, OPRAH AND DOMINOS PIZZA ( FOR THE CHICKEN KICKERS)

WHILE IM IN ICELAND, WORKING FOR BJORK, ILL BE USING MY YEARS AS A MODEL MANAGER , IN WRITING SONGS FOR BJORK. WORKING TITLES THUS FAR
"IM RELEASED..I THOUGHT YOU SAID I WAS CONFIRMED?"

"BRUCE WEBER SAID SO"

"IVE NEVER BEEN MORE RIPPED(OR LEAN..THE REMIX)

"I VE NEVER DONE THIS WITH A DUDE BEFORE"

"I HATE CANADIANS"

"YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE"

"SHOULD I GO TO MILAN(FOR THE SHOWS)

LIKE I SAID THESE TASTY MORSELS ARE JUST THE BEGINNING OF MY SONGWRITING PROWESS

BJORK AND I, WHILST EATING BLUBBER, WILL BE RECORDING THESE OFF THE CHAIN TRACKS AFTER NUDE SKINNY DIPPING IN A HOT SPRING. DONT HATE FUCKERS.

ILL MISS YOU ALL, AND I HOPE YOUR CAREER SUFFERS WITH OUT ME.

SUCK IT BITCHES
IM GOING TO ICELAND...

SUCK ON IT

JASON KANNER AKA LARS SVARTGRAAASD